Love (May 20, 2010 and June 30, 2010)

So, "love" seems to be the theme of this week. I really like writing. I like expressing myself through the things I write. Sometimes I write things that are REALLY personal--things that I feel like I can't vent to the world......like I said, it's my judgment free zone. And so, it's a therapy for me. It makes me feel good. So back in May, I started writing about love. I actually "journaled" three separate passages in my notebook about it. This was one of them.

It's funny how hardships seem to make you realize how much you love others and are loved by others. In the Bible it says that God's made strong in our weaknesses, and I think in a way, that's a quality He's passed down to His children too. I like how Joel Osteen describes us "inheriting things from God." He talked about a boy he went to school with, and how that boy's father had big ears. So, the boy would constantly make fun of his dad's (who was also.....their baseball coach?) ears, because that was one thing that, at the time he didn't inherit from his dad. Years later, Joel bumped into him, and he gained those big ears too. It was a dormant trait. I think a lot of things are dormant traits passed on from Papa that come out eventually. I'd like to think so, at least.

But I think a good friend will be made strong when his/her friend is weak. It's a sign of love and selflessness. When someone you love is going through something you'll put yourself and your fears aside for them. Or you should, rather. (I can say for myself, it's not always the easiest or most natural thing for you to do.) So many people have put themselves and their pride or a piece of themselves aside for me this year. And many people have consistently done it throughout my life. They showed selflessness and proved that they value me.

I'm currently reading a "strange facts/Q&A" book called "What Makes Flamingos Pink?", and right now I'm on the animal kingdom section. Something that it said about zebras was "If a family member becomes separated or lost for some reason, the other zebras in the family will search for it. The family will also adjust the speed of its travel so that the old and weak can keep up with the group." If one of of the zebras gets disconnected from the group, the group will stop what it's doing to look for the missing zebra. If the older and weaker zebras can't keep up with the speed, they'll adjust it to make sure that everyone can stay together. They put themselves after their family. I think that's how it's supposed to be.....why does it constantly feel so hard to? With me, my friends and some of my family has adjusted their speed so I could keep up with the group. They sacrificed their time for my happiness. When I got lost, they stopped what they were doing to find me. It's funny how animals do this naturally, and sometimes for humans it's a stretch. But I think that's how love is supposed to be.

One quality of love is selflessness. We're supposed to be selfless and put the ones we love first--but that's not what we're told in this world. The world tells us to think about yourself first, have your own back at all times, make sure you get ahead. Sometimes it's really about making sure your loved ones aren't getting separated from the group.....or even about adjusting the speed for those who can't keep up with you. It's not always about finishing the race first. Sometimes it's more important to finish the race at all......with the people you love the most by your side. It's about making a mark in this world the right way. It's about valuing the ones who you love. It's about making sure that those same people you love are doing okay, and doing EVERYTHING in your power to make sure that they're still walking, and if they're not, it's about adjusting the speed for them. Maybe that's the basis of life. You're supposed to love and help. I think it goes deeper than that--just saying "to love" is pretty vague. But that's the part I'm trying to figure out. That's the part that a lot of us are trying to figure out.

Love is mean to be selfless. Sometimes it's not even about your reputation.....as a Christian.....as a person. I've always had a hard time with that. I've always had a very hard time knowing that if I screwed up, I would have judgmental eyes staring me down. If I screwed up, certain people would look at me differently and respect me less. Well, you are not God. You have no say on if I'm a screw up or not, because I know that He looks at me and sees me as beautiful.....as loved......as the apple of His eye. I know that He favors me and accepts and approves of me. I don't need Christians confirming that for me. We put people on a pedestal too much. If God is for me....who can be against me? Love is willing to put past all your preconceived notions about what love really is.....and accept people the way they are.....EXACTLY the way they are. It doesn't try to change someone in order to accept them. Love doesn't LOOK for someone to change who they are......it accepts them the way they are. Why? Because love is meant to be unconditional--not conditional. Love looks at the best in people. Is it easy all the time? No. Not at all. Sometimes it's one of the hardest things to do. But in the end, it's worth it. I know that as a fact. Call me naive, but I'm confident in that.

Numero Uno--Ranting at 3 am

So, I haven't had a blog in.....what? Almost ten years? Okay....that's an exaggeration.....let's go with six. It's crazy. But I like writing, so I guess I'll share what I like to write with the world.


....I guess that means being vulnerable.
I've silenced myself for so long......well, here we go....

I hate it when Christians put down other people. I hate it so much. It makes me SOOOOO angry. And I know that usually it's with good intentions.....but that doesn't justify the actions. I think that too often Christians get SOOOO offensive about things, but when other people who AREN'T Christians offend them, they get all angry about it. And it makes me really angry. It makes me angry to hear people talk down about people I love--people who don't express their "Christianity" as well, as others......the "little people" in Christianity? Just because you know the Bible inside and out, it doesn't mean that you have all of life's answers. We have SUCH an amazing tool. We have SOOO much good that people teach us. Why do so many people use it in such a negative way? Why is love just a commonly used word? Why don't we know how to do it? Hello, Mirror....you're not looking too good today.....The only tangible reason I know love is because I have been shown it over....and over.....and over again....by those people I consider my family (not just blood...). I've been shown it not by all of the churches I've gone to or indirectly been involved in......but I've been shown love through the lack of judgment certain people have given me. The same people who have been compassionate to me all these years are the ones who have shown me real love. There are too many "if" "ands" or "buts" in love. There are too many "between the lines". We make people tap dance for our approval....well, stop. Is that really what Christianity is about? If you really want to win the world over, first look at the damage that we've done by hurting people...I think it's time to look see the world with a different pair of eyes.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."--Gandhi